Thank you for your visit today
Most unwelcome but you’d know that
I see time hasn’t moved on for you
As much as it stopped for me
Yet my imposter didn’t flatter me
He was a dead give away
But you’ll never know
He dismissed you flat out

Stay hidden, don’t ever come here again
To paint my stomach with turmoil pain
Stay forgotten as my decline is storied
To rise again as you are buried

Thank you for your message today
Most unexpected but you knew that
I see you’re trying to kill me again
As much as I died before
My imposter didn’t matter to me
He was a dead weight
But you’ll never know
How I’ll cut your heart out



Bored of online dating. It doesn’t work for me. I only keep a profile out of boredom plus it can occasionally throw out the odd decent, interesting woman. So I was bored and rewrote the lyrics to 1999 as my tribute to Prince.

I was dreaming when I wrote this, forgive me if it goes astray
But when I woke up this morning I was single for another day
Every time I log in it’s the same people everywhere
If your children are your world, you know I don’t even care

Say, say, two thousand one six party over POF is out of time
So tonight I’m gonna Faceparty like it’s 1999

I was dreaming when I wrote this, so sue me if I go too fast
But Plenty Of Fish makes me glad that my time has passed
Fake eyebrows all around me, my mind says to click log out
Bored of most girls ‘cos all they do in pics is fucking pout

Say, say, two thousand one six party over POF is out of time
So tonight I’m gonna Faceparty like it’s 1999

If you can’t spell “you’re” properly, don’t bother knocking on my door
Got a brain in my head and yet still I come back for more
Everybody is a mum, enjoys fun and socializes with their friends zzz
So I’m just gonna stay single until my life comes to an end


Watching yourself slowly age
Just enough to become out of date
Is the longest wait and heaviest weight
To carry before tempting fate
Having your spirits dampened
Switching reflections to a stand-in
Whose strangeness is rampant
In a hurry to get nowhere
But you can never get home
Despite many failed comebacks
Back again comes the relapse
To sow the bends and plant the cracks.


I always thought of life as a computer game. A giant, sprawling sandbox with a choice of ending before eventually, ‘GAME OVER’. Milestones to achieve, coins to collect and a depleting life bar to protect. Enemies to fight, decisions to make and puzzles to solve. But what if you’re not very good at playing it? Even worse; what if you don’t enjoy playing it anymore?

There isn’t a walk-through guide or any warp zones, which is a shame as I’d like to go back and play the beginning again or skip to the end depending on my mood. There are some cheat codes, e.g. theft, fraud etc. but I’ve always hated cheating. I’d rather fail by myself than win because of someone else. The game begins with an elaborate introduction and tutorial which teaches you the basics; such as how to eat and not go near fires etc. The first few levels are awesome and so easy too. It was really fun to play with so many rewards.

The most exciting part as I continued to play longer was gaining experience points and leveling up, which meant I was able to unlock greater sequential freedoms and the stories could branch off and lead me on various exciting side missions. The HD graphics are amazing and everything is in 3-D. So many beautiful colours. Most of the first end of level bosses were easy; normally teachers in tweed jackets with elbow pads who threw board rubbers at your head. They were easy to dodge.

When your avatar reaches adolescence and adulthood the game gets much trickier. All sorts of new enemies fill the screen and you can get easily confused about which direction you’re meant to go in. I took many, many wrong paths thinking that they were the right ones, but I kept coming back to where I’d started. The story arc for taking the wrong options is eventually losing all of your weapons and xp. Right now I’m low on currency but I have plenty of health packs.

The general gameplay is fun but a tad repetitive once you’ve put in about 30 years. Right now I’m roaming around the same town with my trusty canine sidekick. There’s a princess that I’m in love with but she doesn’t need rescuing. In fact she needs to rescue me. In the meantime I hope for some new exciting DLC to drop. Lots of the people I’ve met along the way want me to keep playing but it’s boring and I’m tired of it. I really wish I wasn’t because I haven’t completed it yet, and I love unlocking trophies and hate quitting.

For You (POEM)

Please don’t change a single thing about the way you look
You are perfection and nature will look after you
She will hold you in her arms and continue to grace you
Whilst I alone write the words to her picture book
Don’t search for the past because you don’t need to
I can’t freeze time, she won’t even let me slow it down
She only feeds me scraps and I’m dying so hungry now
Just everything about you makes me breathe and drown
For you in each moment is the first time we met for me
I will stay trapped there if it means you are always free
Will you visit or am I just too unworthy?
Thank you for a glimpse of sunshine today
Retreating home I cried in joy all the way
Because I love you, oh how I love you, I’m too frightened to say.


I’ve wasted time practicing perfect
You had the key and locked me up
Cos Lady Muck doesn’t give a fuck

I’ve wasted time not giving up
A short story that you wrote long
From grassy knolls that you stood on

You can’t always get what you want
But always want what you can’t get
Those you serve will have you gunned down
And I’m a debt she hasn’t paid yet

I’ve wasted time stranded in Love Field
The heart that yearned is often spurned
But still revolves just as the world turns.


A young child would never dream of smoking a cigarette
A young child would never dream of drowning their sorrows
A young child would never dream of sorrows to begin with
A young child would never dream of cutting themselves
A young child would never dream of taking illegal substances
A young child would never dream of pain or religious dogma
A young child would never dream of caring what they look like
A young child would never dream of ending their own life
A young child would never dream of what they’re going to inherit from us
I dream of innocence.