The Fire Always Burns (POEM)

It was four years ago today when
I couldn’t find the words to say
Just how much I thought of you
Enough to convince you to
Want to get to know about me
Still the fire burns defiantly
On this our anniversary
Of a world we’ll never see and
A life that could have been but
Starving the flames of oxygen
Again and again and again
Couldn’t make me expire nor
Managed to put out the fire
So I’ll think of you again tonight
Four years since you set my heart alight.

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For You (POEM)

Please don’t change a single thing about the way you look
You are perfection and nature will look after you
She will hold you in her arms and continue to grace you
Whilst I alone write the words to her picture book
Don’t search for the past because you don’t need to
I can’t freeze time, she won’t even let me slow it down
She only feeds me scraps and I’m dying so hungry now
Just everything about you makes me breathe and drown
For you in each moment is the first time we met for me
I will stay trapped there if it means you are always free
Will you visit or am I just too unworthy?
Thank you for a glimpse of sunshine today
Retreating home I cried in joy all the way
Because I love you, oh how I love you, I’m too frightened to say.

NO MORE GOODBYES (SONG)

I’ve wasted time practicing perfect
You had the key and locked me up
Cos Lady Muck doesn’t give a fuck

I’ve wasted time not giving up
A short story that you wrote long
From grassy knolls that you stood on

You can’t always get what you want
But always want what you can’t get
Those you serve will have you gunned down
And I’m a debt she hasn’t paid yet

I’ve wasted time stranded in Love Field
The heart that yearned is often spurned
But still revolves just as the world turns.

RELUCTANT QUEEN (SONG)

If nature took a break,
You could fill the void,
And if your God took a stand,
You could galvanise Mankind,
So I don’t understand why,
Why you fail to see?
That everything you wish for can be found in me.

If the sun refused to shine,
You would light the sky,
And if the ground beneath you fell,
You would learn to fly,
So I don’t understand why,
Why you cannot see?
That everything you’ve dreamed of can be found with me.

So what’s the use in stars for you?
If you won’t let any worship you,
And ever since we met, it’s been ‘off with his head’,
So grant my last request and place your hand upon my chest,
And feel the constellation made for you,
You’re the only light I satellite.

If it ever got too much,
You would ask for more,
Without a king who’s by your side,
What are you reigning for?
So I don’t understand why,
Why you just don’t see?
That I am the beholder of your majesty.

OCCAM’S BLUNT RAZOR (POEM)

As one light makes all of the colours,
Your light outshines all the others,
Love has brought us together,
Believe that your life can be better,
Without it no-one can kick on,
Without you my life is so wrong,
So come be a lowlife together,
And sink to the top forever.

HOME (SONG)

I don’t need to say I’m sorry for me to feel it,
I’ve written a list and checked it twice and
without you in it I don’t want this life.
How many times should I apologise for you to feel it?
You have every right to haunt me in my dreams,
But sometimes I just can’t take it,
I’m not that person anymore.

What have you been up to? I’m not around to see it,
For all the thoughts you shared I didn’t listen to,
I hate myself now for only hearing.
How much longer will you let this carry on?
The sadness swells into a ball and if I think of you,
I cant even swallow, I want to weep but it’s trapped inside,
Please hold my hand whilst I’m sick with it.

I needed to tell you I loved you but wasn’t sure I could,
Only after I left did I realise how much I should,
But you had turned love off like day and night.
I made some huge mistakes you won’t let me redeem,
So I sit frozen in my dreams, afraid to go to sleep,
But laying here awake makes me want to scream,
In case you ever come back I have to stick around.

NAUGHTY BUT NICE?

Have you noticed how everything fun and enjoyable also has a darker edge to it? The things you most like to do can end up killing you, strengthening my belief that we as a species aren’t really meant to be here. Take sex for example. That’s fun but wait, what’s that? STD’s and HIV? Herpes and unwanted pregnancies…RAPE?! Why ruin it?

Smoking…that’s pretty cool, except for the toxic, poisonous, cancerous chemicals, the yellow teeth, the receding gums, the aging skin etc. Wait, I shouldn’t do that either?

Okay then, what about takeaways?…no cooking, no washing up, exciting menu choices…oh that’s bad for me too? High cholesterol, fatty liver, high blood pressure, obesity, heart disease…that doesn’t sound like a good menu.

Ah wait, I’ve thought of something that is fun and enjoyable and good for you…Love? You can’t find anything wrong with love. Yes I can. Unrequited love, loss, bereavement, heartbreak, adultery. Oh shit, that’s not fair…you see the negative in everything; my glass is half full. Yeah but it can never be full though can it?! I see the negatives because they are right there staring you in the face. What’s that cliche? Everything in moderation…well fuck moderation, what does it earn you? There’s no prizes for dying old and no prizes for dying young. Unlearn everything you’ve ever been taught because it’s all bullshit, we are animals, we are primates, square pegs shoehorned into a round hole of centuries of civilization…and it isn’t natural…that’s why we dream of and invent gods and monsters, we burn witches, we gas Jews, we behead each other, we bomb each other….so you see, religion isn’t even a force for good.

You think zoos are cruel? We’re the ones in a bloody zoo…we’re the ones imprisoned in a cage far from our natural habitat. We have lost our one true gift, the power of consciousness. We’re born free and live the rest of our lives as dystopian wolves in sheep’s clothing. You think you have real choice, you think you have any power at all? You don’t. All of this is a roulette, lottery clusterfuck. There’s one destination; no reward, no judgement day, no meaning to it…sensible will take you to the grave, anarchy will take you to the grave, exercise will take you to the grave; so what you gonna do? Hide away from it all? Never take risk again? What is stopping you from living your life without these shackles and embracing the full experience of this world, warts and all?

Me.